Danno's Advice for Adults!

Dear Danno,
How does the process of homogenization work?
signed....Don't Know in Daytona

DEAR DON'T KNOW,
I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW ONE BECOMES A HOMO....SORRY.


Dear Danno,
What is your favorite breakfast cereal?
signed...Krispie in Kansas

DEAR KRISPIE,
I LIKE ALPHABITS. I ENJOY SPELLING OSCENITIES, THEN EATING THEM. LAST WEEK, I HAD ME SOME....UM...NEVERMIND.


Dear Danno,
Do you own a pussy cat?
signed...Fan in Feoria

DEAR FAN,
NO...BUT WASN'T THAT LETTER METHODICALLY PLACED IN THIS COLUMN?


Dear Danno,
I want to get pregnant. I want to have the first baby born in the millenium. What's the best time to conceive this baby?
signed...Destined to be Famous

DEAR DESTINED,
I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT TAKING ANY MORE REQUESTS RIGHT NOW. I'M BOOKED SOLID. PERHAPS YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND CAN KNOCK YOU UP INSTEAD, BUT THANKS FOR ASKING.


Dear Danno,
What is acute bronchitis?
signed...Sick in St. Paul

DEAR SICK,
I THINK IT'S A GOOD LOOKING BRONCHITIS...


Dear Danno,
How do you feel about blind dates?
signed...Looking in Louisiana

DEAR LOOKING,
A LITTLE EYE TROUBLE IS OKAY, BUT I GENERALLY DATE WOMEN WITH GOOD EYESIGHT.


Dear Danno,
My son's Guidance counseler at school thinks my son has Attention Deficit Disorder. What is that?
signed...Concerned Mom in Miami

DEAR CONCERNED MOM,
WELL, THAT'S WHEN A PERSON SUFFERS FROM....UM...WHAT WAS YOUR QUESTION AGAIN?


Dear Danno,
What's the best way to stop a runny nose?
signed...Ill in Illinois

DEAR ILL,
I'M AFRAID I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP A RUNNY NOSE...OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT....SNYPHILIS.


Dear Danno,
How is tobacco grown?
signed...Farmer-to-be in Fishertown

DEAR FARMER-TO-BE,
YOU PLANT CIGARETTES.


Dear Danno,
I am a new lawyer who is about to have my first case go to trial. What attire do you suggest I wear in court to impress the jury?
signed...Lawyer in Lancaster

DEAR LAWYER,
I'D WEAR A LAW SUIT.


Dear Danno,
I like renting cars from Enterprise because they're easy, fast, cheap, and they pick you up.
signed...Car Renter in Cogertown

DEAR RENTER,
SOUNDS LIKE A FEW WOMEN I KNOW.


Dear Danno,
My dog "Champ" has been very lethargic for the last month. I'm a bit worried because I don't know what is wrong? Should I be concerned?
signed...Owner in Oswego

DEAR OWNER,
I WOULDN'T WORRY...IT SIMPLY MEANS "CHAMP" IS ABOUT TO DIE.


Dear Danno,
I'm suffering from irregular periods. Is this normal?
signed...Suffering in Safron

DEAR SUFFERING,
TRY COMMAS OR EXCLAMATION MARKS. I NEVER KNOW WHERE TO PUT A PERIOD IN SENTENCES EITHER.


CLICK HERE TO GO BACK HOME!