Danno's Financial Advice

Dear Danno,
Are you bullish?
signed...Investor in Inglewood
DEAR INVESTOR,
OH YES. PEOPLE TELL ME I'M FULL OF IT ALL THE TIME!


Dear Danno,
Where can I find the best CD rates?
signed...Banker in Baton Rouge
DEAR BANKER,
RADIO SHACK AND BLOCKBUSTER BOTH HAVE CDs STARTING AT AROUND $9.95. I STILL PREFER CASSETTE TAPES MYSELF.


Dear Danno,
What is the Prime Rate?
signed...Wondering in Wisconsin
DEAR WONDERING,
I LOVE PRIME RIB. I THINK IT'S GOING FOR ABOUT $5.95 A POUND.


Dear Danno,
Do you think I should buy long?
signed...Rich in Rotunda
DEAR RICH,
WHEN BUYING PANTS, IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO BUY LONG THAN SHORT. SO I WOULD SAY YES.


Dear Danno,
I'm thinking about buying short. What do you think?
signed...Putter in Potamic
DEAR PUTTER,
OK...BUT YOUR ANKLES MAY SHOW.


Dear Danno,
What can you tell me about the foreign markets?
signed...Investing in Ierdale
DEAR INVESTING,
MOST MARKETS ARE OWNED BY CORPORATIONS. 7-11 STORES ARE OWNED BY FOREIGNERS, BUT I WOULDN'T CLASSIFY THOSE AS MARKETS.


Dear Danno,
How do you feel about Bonds?
signed...Undecided in Uttica
DEAR UNDECIDED,
HE'S A PRETTY GOOD BALLPLAYER.


Dear Danno,
Would you invest in Dell?
signed...PC User in Peoria
DEAR PC USER,
SORRY...THE ONLY DELL I KNOW IS THE ONE WITH THE FARMER IN IT. HI HO THE CHERIO...


Dear Danno,
Can you tell me how Warren Buffet became so rich?
signed...Unknowing in Houston
DEAR UNKNOWING,
THE GUY WAS BOUND TO BE RICH. AFTER ALL, I OFTEN GO TO RESTAURANTS THAT HAVE A NICE BUFFET...OBVIOUSLY NAMED AFTER THE MAN WHO INVENTED BUFFETS...WARREN BUFFET.


Dear Danno,
How do you feel about penny stocks?
signed...Small investor in San Juan
DEAR SMALL,
I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE COMPANIES THAT MADE PENNIES. HOW NAIVE I AM SOMETIMES...I THOUGHT PENNIES WERE MADE BY THE GOVERNMENT.


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